Moving on and no looking back

This was so necessary and waaayyyy over due. I have been dealing with life’s obstacles a lot better these days. I think just being out of the head space I was in allowed me to think more clearly! I had to choose myself and not worry about what others thought or think of me. Dealing with someone and being in a relationship that was more about the other person was mentally, emotionally, and spiritually draining! Finding myself battling what people thought of me with my own perception of what I thought of me was exhausting. Leaving the toxic relationship I was in made me ask myself a very important question. Who am I? Who is Tameka? I honestly am still trying to figure that out. 

I lost myself and have no idea who I am. I know who I want to be, but am I close enough to find my way back to who I was before the hurt? Should I just take a different path altogether? I’m so torn and confused because the new path may upset some. Which brings me back to caring about what others feel/think about me! We all say we don’t care what others think, but the reality is we DO! These last few months have been better than I expected giving the circumstances, but I’m still standing. I’ve realized that I have to pick and choose my battles because some things aren’t that important. I think to myself if I fight every battle, I won’t be able to endure the war! 

I have so many thoughts running through my mind that it’s so hard to focus. I want to achieve every goal I have set for myself and when I get faced with adversity, I begin to self destruct. I am my own worse critic, however I know that I have to also be my own cheerleader. I’m starting to see myself as a strong black woman who is overcoming every challenge the devil throws at me. I am a work in progress , but I am putting in the work. I am a hard working mom to my 3 blessings, whom I wouldn’t trade for all the riches in the world. I am kind, caring and an awesome friend. I love hard and I want to be loved! I am patient and understanding. I am Tameka and no matter what path I go down, I will always be Tameka and no one else. Getting to know myself has allowed me to be able to open myself up to new possibilities, friendships, job, and love. 

Taking things one day at a time to stop and smell the roses, to let it sink in. To be around those who genuinely love me. To be able to finally say I love myself and mean it! Losing myself and suffering from depression was a low point in my life. Dropping the negativity and regaining my focus has assisted me with opening of doors to endless opportunities. I will no longer give people the power over me. I will allow myself to be free. Free to love, laugh, cry, grow, and MOVE FORWARD! I am still traveling down the road trying to decide which path to take, but the goal is to move on and NOT LOOK BACK!!

Until next time... 💋