2018 is my year?

I felt so strongly that it was going to be my year, that my whole attitude changed! When I say changed, I mean in a positive way! I got a new job, started losing weight, didn’t have time for drama, just positive vibes. Well, not sure when, but I started to feel myself unraveling a bit. I guess the loose ends from 2017 were starting to rear it’s ugly head. Not feeling defeated, but now questioning EVERYTHING! Second guessing myself, afraid of taking chances and taking a leap of faith. Why? What happened? I was so ready to take on 2018 with so much confidence and positivity. How are things falling apart?

Well for starters, I stopped praying as much as I was coming to the end of last year. Okay, I can admit I need to get back to my faith no matter how busy I may seem. Secondly, I started allowing other ppl’s negativity to rub off on me. No matter the circumstances, I am NOT obligated to put anyone’s needs before my kids or my own. Am I starting to turn back to that girl from last year that gets so overwhelmed she shuts down? I think I am. So I quickly start blogging because I have to get this out. Rome wasn’t built in a day so my depression will not go away in a day or my triggers. I have to learn how to persevere through these things and stay focused!

I realized that writing is my safe haven. It calms me and helps me self reflect. I am my own worst critic and it hinders me at times from reaching my full potential. I need to start believing in myself and doing things that are uncomfortable because that is the ONLY way I will grow as a person, mother, daughter, friend, sister, employee,etc. I have 3 beautiful kids looking up to me and I have to set an example for them. This thing called life can be very hard if you allow it to be. That’s why it is good to take chances and live in the moment. I want to feel ALIVE and not just living. I want to believe that everything I want for myself, I can have. My children will benefit from watching me set goals, work towards them, and finally achieve them. I don’t want them to see me as a quitter. 

So my goal is to get back to my original thought process and feeling of 2018 is my year. A year of happiness, love, adventure, and endless possibilities! This is only the beginning and I’m sure this will be a crazy journey, but I’m so optimistic about it. Until next time.