I have wanted to start a blog for some time now. My little sister just sparked something in me and I decided why not today? Lately I have been really hard on myself! See, I've realized that I'm struggling with who I am and who I want to be. I started going to therapy and it started because I wanted my daughter to seek therapy due to some traumatic experiences she's had. Oh wait, I didn't fully introduce myself. My name is Tameka and I am a 33 year old mom of 3.
My oldest daughter Kayla, had her father taken away from her when she was just 3 years of age! They had a special bond and I feel like it really took a toll on her. Then to later lose her uncle with whom she shares a birthday. Dealing with going into middle school and peer pressure, I thought therapy was a good idea for her. My agenda was to start as well to show her there's nothing wrong with therapy. See, therapy seems to be frowned upon in most African American households.
So once I started therapy, I realized I was in need of it more than I imagined. Then to hear me of all people was suffering from extreme depression! Me depressed? So far gone that I now take medication to stabilize my mood. Then after getting to know my therapist (well 2 sessions) she told me she was leaving the company and I would be getting a new therapist. This started to make me anxious and irritated to have to start from scratch. Well I have a new therapist (2 sessions so far) and it's a perfect fit! We have a long road ahead of us, but I am now optimistic that the light at the end of the tunnel will get closer. I had an assignment to come up with 5 things I value of myself and I'm having a hard time with it. At times I feel so broken that I don't want to get out of bed.
I have 3 reasons to get up and do something, but honestly that self doubt takes over and I become numb and can't feel ANYTHING! I no longer want to be the me I am currently. I am excited for you guys to take the journey of me becoming who I want to be with me. We are taking it step by step and ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!
My oldest daughter Kayla, had her father taken away from her when she was just 3 years of age! They had a special bond and I feel like it really took a toll on her. Then to later lose her uncle with whom she shares a birthday. Dealing with going into middle school and peer pressure, I thought therapy was a good idea for her. My agenda was to start as well to show her there's nothing wrong with therapy. See, therapy seems to be frowned upon in most African American households.
So once I started therapy, I realized I was in need of it more than I imagined. Then to hear me of all people was suffering from extreme depression! Me depressed? So far gone that I now take medication to stabilize my mood. Then after getting to know my therapist (well 2 sessions) she told me she was leaving the company and I would be getting a new therapist. This started to make me anxious and irritated to have to start from scratch. Well I have a new therapist (2 sessions so far) and it's a perfect fit! We have a long road ahead of us, but I am now optimistic that the light at the end of the tunnel will get closer. I had an assignment to come up with 5 things I value of myself and I'm having a hard time with it. At times I feel so broken that I don't want to get out of bed.
I have 3 reasons to get up and do something, but honestly that self doubt takes over and I become numb and can't feel ANYTHING! I no longer want to be the me I am currently. I am excited for you guys to take the journey of me becoming who I want to be with me. We are taking it step by step and ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!
Wow it's so refreshing to know I'm not the only young adult going through pretty much the same exact thing down to the amount of children. I'm happy you are in therapy! Praying for you!
ReplyDeleteThank you. It gets to a point where u can no longer hide from the life you deserve out of fear. That's where I am, step by step and one day at a time!
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